..........

Last night I had my friends T and C over for dinner at my apartment. I made salad, turkey lasagna, corn on the cob, and broccoli, and homemade brownies for dessert. I really like having people over for dinner, its really relaxing to be able to take your time eating and not feel like you're rushed, as you often can be at a restaurant. It was fun.

T is 9 months pregnant—she is due to give birth to a boy in about 2 or 3 weeks. She also has a 19 month old daughter, who she tried to conceive for a year and a half. In fact, T went to the same RE as me, and as it turns out, did 3 cycles of Clomid and 4 cycles of injectables before getting pregnant. I hadn’t told her yet about my infertility issues, but it felt good to talk to someone who had been through exactly what I am going through. C is not TTC yet, but I think we may have freaked her out a little bit… She may have gone home and asked her DH to move the baby timetable up!

This morning I had u/s #3 of Cycle #2. And alas, my fears have come true. The follicle is not growing—holding steady at 14-15mm. So next step is – 1) start on 150mg of Clomid tonight, 2) BMS over the weekend to cover my bases on the off chance I have a delayed ovulation, 3) go back for another u/s on Monday to check on the 15mm follicle. If nothing is going on at that u/s, just schedule the next u/s (probably next Sat, 9/19) to see if my body reacted to 150mg. That Saturday is the Jewish holidays though, so thats another issue I'll have to figure out...

It’s incredibly frustrating that my body responded to 50mg, but not to 100mg (at least not yet). When Dr. Fast Talker (who I am growing to adore) told me he didn’t see any growth, I felt relief at first… Sort of like, Well, the inevitable march to injectables is moving forward… It wasn’t until I left the RE’s office that I had to fight back tears. Luckily I held it together and didn’t collapse into a ball right there on 5th Avenue.

So, you guessed it. More waiting.

Oh and P.S., my insurance doesn’t cover IVF. FML.